Jean-Ralphio Saperstein’s Top 26 Funniest Quotes From Parks and Rec

Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, played by actor Ben Swartz on the show Parks and Recreation is arguably TV’s most lovable douche-bag.
He’s the worst, he’s irresponsible, and he regularly scams insurance companies. On the plus side, he can get you access to the illest clubs, he will create a tiny go-cart for your grandma, and he’s the source of some of the show’s most hilarious quotes.

Here’s what we think are Jean-Ralphio’s top 26 funniest quotes from Parks and Rec in order of greatness.

Quote #26: When he hosted Entertainment 720’s end of the world party

Quote #25: When he and Tom practiced their Rent-a-Swag pitch on April and Andy

Quote #24: When he showed great faith in his father

Quote #23: When he showed great faith in his sister

Quote #22: When he and Tom printed their own money

Quote #21: When he dropped some pointed wisdom on Jelloshot

Quote #20: When he gave Tom the best wedding toast advice in the history of Pawnee

Quote #19: When his parents amended his trust fund

Quote #18: When he made money the old-fashioned way

Quote #17: When he got to third base over the pants

Quote #16: When he free associated for Ron

Quote #15: When he got an accounting job

Quote #14: When he announced that penises were bouyant

Quote #13: When he was technically homeless

Quote #12: When he gave Tom some sage business advice

Quote #11: When he and Tom created a commercial for Entertainment 720

Quote #10: When he called upon Lemony Snicket to absolve him of responsibility

Quote #9: When he wasn’t gay

Quote #8: When he was gay

Quote #7: When he faked his funeral in this deleted scene

Quote #6: When he was concerned about Donna’s clothes

Quotes #5-3: When he couldn’t end his raps with a rhyme

Quote #2: When he gave Jello Shot his nickname

Quote #1: When he needed Donna’s money

More on Jean-Ralphio:

The Complete Jean-Ralphio, NBC Supercut
The fan theory that Steve Harrington from Stranger Things is actually Jean-Ralphio’s father due to their similar looks, personalities, and geographical proximity
An AMA (Ask Me Anything) with Ben Schwartz, the actor who portrays Jean-Ralphio
Slate Magazine’s character sketch of Jean-Ralphio
Jean-Ralphio’s Wikipedia page

Parks and Recreation
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